How to Say Sorry
- 8 Tips For When You’ve Got the Balance Wrong
Have you been working too many hours? When you know how to say sorry, you take the first step back towards restoring your work-life balance and peace of mind at home -- the platform for any sort of personal development. Without it, no one can really move on. Apart from anything else, unresolved arguments are a colossal waste of time and energy. So, here are 8 tips on how to apologize to those at home when you haven’t been: - Pre-empt it
Ideally, it’s good to say sorry before your partner or children complain that you have been working too many hours. This shows that you recognize the problem. But there’s also a lot to be said for your ability to… - Accept it
If you’re told you’re working too much, take a good look at the situation. For example, do you use a time log to help you analyze how much time you spend at work and at home? Even when you know just how many hours you’ve been working, or not at home, it’s always possible to justify long hours. That drink after work was well deserved, wasn’t it? Face up to the facts and accept the opinions of those at home. One of the toughest things to learn is to accept another person’s point of view. But it’s the key to healthy family relationships. Take responsibility for your actions. You chose every single one of them. And none of us get it right all of the time. - Get on with it
Don’t delay an apology. Once you’ve decided to say sorry, say it. There may be other important things to do, but they almost certainly won’t have the same degree of impact on your quality of life. Peace of mind for both, or all, of your household depends on it. - No ‘if’s’ or ‘but’s’
Don’t say ‘I’m sorry if…’ Yes, it’s acknowledging they’re upset. But it’s not a proper apology because you don’t own it. Even worse: ‘I’m sorry, but…’ That’s not even an apology! There’s a world of difference when you say ‘I’m sorry that…’ This means taking 100% responsibility for your actions. - Consider the way you say it
Most communication is non verbal. Whether your partner or children are aware of it or not, you can be sure that, deep down, they recognize the way an apology is offered. Give them 100% attention and allow them to fully express their thoughts and feelings. Look them in the eye. - Minimize to maximize
Don’t dilute an apology by repeating it too often. Make it worth something. Say it once or twice, and then focus on actually doing something about it. An apology has to mean something to matter. Flowers, gifts and promises are only appreciated to the extent to which your partner or children believe you will change your work habits. - Manage your reaction to their reaction
Just because an apology is offered, it doesn’t mean it will be accepted. Sometimes, people aren’t ready to forgive. They may even have more to say! This is the point at which it’s easy to snap back… …but it’s not a good idea. Knowing how to say sorry means not playing the ‘blame game’. You can’t be responsible for their reactions to your apology, but you have complete control over yours. - Make amends
We all know that actions speak louder than words. Learning how to say sorry starts with an expression of remorse. But it ends with the results of changed behaviour.
Balancing work and family means that every extra hour spent at work may have some reward, financial or otherwise, but it has to be paid for. The cost is the consequences, both known and unknown, of absence. Learn how to say sorry and restore relationships with the people you love.
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